I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
