I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
