her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Panties = found
Randomize
