I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
