Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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