I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
