new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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