The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
