Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
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Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
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Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize