What a fucking waste of an outfit
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
