I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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