I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
