Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
