I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
