Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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