My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
