There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
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