I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
