My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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