Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
