covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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