I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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