Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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