only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
