We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
