i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
