why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
There r osticjed everywhere
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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