I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
