Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
