You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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