i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize