He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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