So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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