I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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