I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I lost the right to judge tonight
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
