what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
