After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
