so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
