spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
