and you said cock pushups were impossible
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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