haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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