A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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