i think i have herpe
just one?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
