so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
