sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
