i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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