I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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