Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
