just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
