she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
