What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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