I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
