so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
handjob tips. give me some.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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