There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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