Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Randomize