How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
