whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
