I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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