I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
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Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
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I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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