I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
