I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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