I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Just puked most of my soul out..
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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